Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Back to Work/Back to Reality....

{Baby G. loves his play mat!}

Today was my first day back at work following a 12-week maternity leave. It was both easier and harder than I had expected. On the one hand, I felt as though I'd simply picked up right where I'd left off; my time away felt more like days rather than weeks. And yet…everything felt different as Baby G. continued to dominate my thoughts as I struggled to make it through a sleepy afternoon without the benefit of a nap.

The idea of leaving him with our nanny (whom I like very much) does not distress me nor do I feel overcome by guilt, convinced I am betraying him by not spending every waking moment taking care of him. And yet...I do feel some regret, some sadness in the knowledge of how much I’ll be missing in the coming weeks and months. I’ve spent the past 12 weeks witnessing every milestone, no matter how trivial and I’ve loved seeing Baby G. develop into a much more alert and interactive being than he was just weeks ago. But I also know that prior to Baby G.’s arrival, I loved my job and a large part of me is excited at the prospect of returning to my professional life, ready to conquer new challenges. I know many of you out there are also working mothers (and fathers) and share these mixed feelings with me.

{...And his mobile!}

I am sure you've also noticed the drop off in my posting (and commenting!) over the past few weeks -- and my absence is simply the byproduct of my cherishing what was left of my time at home with my son. Unfortunately, as I adjust to my new role as a working mom, I expect my blogging to remain sporadic, as my priorities have by necessity shifted to accommodate this new addition to our family. In the coming weeks and months, I hope to find my way back here to the design blogosphere, but in the meantime recognize that my reality currently does not allow for the level of involvement that I'd had the luxury of having up until 3 months ago. I ask that you bear with me during this transition and I hope we are able to reconnect soon once I’ve figured out how to fit my passions for design and blogging around my new duties as mother.

Know though that I do miss reading many of your blogs on a daily basis, living vicariously through your renovations and DIY projects and sharing your day dreams and fantasies of beautiful design. I firmly believe that blogging has revolutionized and democratized the interior design world and I’ve loved being a (small) part of that shift. I hope to see you all back here soon for more of what I love, hate and hate to love in the worlds of design, fashion and style.

Until then,


Sarah said...

Oh thank goodness! If you had managed to continue to be the hard-core awesome blogger you were now that you have a newborn I would have had to be mad at you;) Now I know you are only human!!! Wow, 3 months already?! That is hard to believe, even though I've witnesses first hand how the time flies. Good luck back at work, Averill!!! He is so adorable:)

A room with a view said...

It is a challenge juggling new motherhood and a back-to-work schedule and achieving a balance with just that, never mind anything else. Welcome back!

Kathysue said...

Avrill it is all so bitter sweet in Motherhood
isn't it? Baby G has gotten so big and I love his smiley face, too cute for words. I admire and appreciate your priorities. Blog land will still be here. time spent with your family is the most important thing you can do. Do what is best for you and your family and all the other stuff can wait and fit in when time allows. Good to see you here!! xo Kathysue

Karena said...

Averill he is just a darling little guy!! It is so hard to juggle all of the parts of your life. It sounds like you are doing a great job!

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Christy said...

You have such an amazingly positive attitude about the whole thing - you are so impressive Averill. And I think it'd be crazy if you tried to do it all! Blog when/if you can, and we'll be here! :) Big hugs!!

Liz @ It's Great To Be Home said...

I'm glad the first day back went well! You've got a lot on your plate - we'll stick around for you. :)

Laura@JourneyChic said...

Good luck with this transition, Averill! It's so hard to carve out time for everything. In fact, it's impossible. I need at least a 26-hr day to do everything I want and need to do! We'll miss you but look forward to the days when you are able to join us here on the web!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

My first day back to work after my first baby was really hard. I remember my last day at home with him so well - I don't think I put him down once. I actually held him for his afternoon nap (melodrama anyone?)

I hated leaving him. I would have given anything to stay home with him. But it just wasn't in the cards for me back then, and I spent that first day after maternity leave feeling like I was holding my breath. Then every day got easier. And I was so lucky to have a fantastic daycare provider.

I have no regrets about missed milestones (she may have seen his first steps? can't remember). I lived completely in the moment when I did spend time with him on evenings and weekends. So many of my friends (mostly stay at home moms) would talk about how the first year flies by, and I didn't feel that way at all. I didn't waste one minute of my time with him wishing I could be doing something else (not even sleeping!)

Now that I'm home full time with my kids, I get it. There is so much to do around the house and when you're home ALL DAY - you feel like you should be productive and accomplishing more than you do when you are at work full time.

Basically - all I'm saying is that even if you weren't happy to be going back to work, you would still have just as much quality time with your boy as you would as a SAHM. And firsts? Who even knows if you really see something for the first time? The first smile could have happened while you were in the bathroom and he was looking at the dog? Who cares if the babysitter sees the first few steps? You'll see the next few. The important thing is that he's growing and learning and you get to watch him do it.

It's amazing.

Much love to you and your little family.

Susie @ Maddie G Designs said...

Hopefully your first week back treated you well. Love the comments above...Kate is right....the grass is always greener....there are pros and cons to either scenario....the most important I think is the YOU are happy....because a happy momma makes a happy household!

Dumbwit Tellher said...

Hi Averill; I feel horrible for not keeping up with your beautiful new son and your life as a spanking new parent. I have no excuse for not being able to juggle my time better. He is just so precious and I couldn't be more thrilled for you & Dave. The emotions we as parents go through is a tough one as we go back to work. As a working mom of 4 I often felt like an island during the time when my children were young. In the 80's, 90's working moms were still not widely accepted. The best thing we as women can do for each other is give support. Just a few encouraging, thoughtful words can go a long way. You are doing what is right for you, baby G and Dave. Only you know what is right for your family. We as women will truly never be in a happy place unless we can be cloned. Congratulations Averill and Dave!!

x Deb

Janell @ House of Fifty said...

Such is the dilemma of the modern woman. We all make different choices and arrange our lives accordingly, the most important thing is that women support each other, even if another's choices don't always mirror our own. I'm often floored by the lack of this understanding. Being true to yourself is the best thing you can do towards being a great mom, happy wife and content woman. All the best with this phase of your life! Janell

Erica said...

I'm glad the first day back went well! Much love to you and your little family.

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Jamie Herzlinger said...

The baby is gorgeous! And trust ma as a mother of two girls now in their teens, it doesn't get easier emotionally, you just realize that your pursuits add to their lives
Happy weekend
Jamie Herzlinger

Acanthus and Acorn said...

Even though I am missing you in the blogshere, it takes courage to admit it's impossible to do it all. Focus on yourself and baby, because you are so right each day goes by in a second. I wish you all the best and I think sporadic blogging is just fine!

sex and addiction said...

I am new to your site and still have to catch up on all of your blogs. Since I started reading the other week what you are doing is fantastic. Wishing the best for you and your family.

Maureen Stevens said...

you are an amazing Mom & yes, it's hard to be super woman all the time. he is sooo cute & glad u found a good Nanny :)

Jamie Herzlinger said...

Lovely week of posts!
Baby looks gorgoeus!
Jamie Herzlinger

Melissah said...

I’ve just stumbled upon your lovely blog. I look forward to popping by again for some more inspiration! I'm just new into blogging this year & have put together a daily blog on design, fashion, food, travel and anything pretty. and one on everything coastal
I had a lot of fun putting them together maybe you would like to check it out if you have a spare minute.

Katharine @ SouthernBourbonMountains said...

I could not have said it better!!! And so jealous you did posts each week..i finally started a blog just for my baby in addition to my other one. They will also each be very sporadic! xoxo

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